One of the most important qualities that anyone can develop in this life is the ability to be a good listener. Good listeners often go very far in life and usually make lots of friends along the way. And yet it is a skill that far too few of us ever master. Perhaps a statement made by Karl A. Menninger can benefit those who struggle to acquire this virtue. He said: "I just tell myself to listen with affection to anyone who talks to me, to be in their shoes when they talk, to try to know them without my mind pressing against theirs, or arguing, or changing the subject.  My attitude is: 'Tell me more!' This person is showing me his soul.  It is a little dry and meager and full of grinding talk, just now, but presently he will begin to think, not just automatically to talk.  He will show his true self.  Then he will be wonderfully alive.”

Listening to others shows respect and helps create a close bond with others. A friend of mine had an experience with his young son that demonstrates the bond that often develops between those who listen closely to each other. Here is his experience in his own words.

"In the early days of my career my job caused me to travel a great deal. In order to continue building relationships with my children, I would often take one of them with me in my travels. On one such occasion my six-year-old, Mike, and I traveled from Springfield, Missouri to Fort Smith, Arkansas.  We talked about school and related topics as we drove along the interstate. I decided it would be a good time to teach my son about the creation of life. I pondered on the understanding he had about this sacred subject.

"I decided to test his knowledge and try to teach him some valuable lessons of life. I said, ‘Mike, have you noticed there is a difference between boys and girls?’  After thinking about it for a while, he said, ‘Yes, Dad. Girls are pretty and boys are ugly!’ Though I was tempted to chuckle, I remained serious, and tended to somewhat agree with him.  I asked if he realized what it meant for his mother to be pregnant. ‘Yes, Dad.  It means she is going to have another baby!’  I asked, ‘Well son, do you have any questions about that?’  He thought for a moment then asked, ‘Does everything Mom eats go down and hit the baby on top of the head?’ Again, I had to restrain my feelings to laugh. I explained that the baby was carried in a special place so that the food did not hit him in the head.

"For the next 45 minutes, we had a most interesting talk as we traveled toward our destination.  Finally, as the conversation waned, I told my son how much I had enjoyed our talk together.  Then being desirous to recap this experience, I asked, ‘Mike, what did you learn from our discussion today?’ I was anxious to hear him repeat some of the great knowledge I had imparted to him.  He pondered for some time, then stood up in the seat of our old Volkswagen. He stepped over the console, put his arms around my neck and said, ‘I learned I love my Dad!’”

This experience demonstrates the truth of a principle taught by Richard Moss who said: “The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.”

Lessons
• Listening closely to others often leads to a closer bond between people.
• Love at home and in our communities often starts with listening to others respectfully.
• You cannot fully listen to another and do anything else at the same time.
• A good listener not only has lots of friends they tend to learn much more than others.

Challenge
Spend this week practicing listen intently with others. If the talk is dull and boring just keep listening and the conversation may suddenly become “wonderfully alive.” 
 

During my junior high school days, I had a good friend named Jimmy. He was a very creative person, but unfortunately, he sometimes used this talent in less than ideal ways.  He often annoyed and pestered others, especially his teachers, with his playful pranks. I learned over the years to stay clear of most of his ideas and schemes because they usually ended up causing trouble.  One day however, he came up with what I considered a fool proof plan.
   
I just couldn't resist becoming involved in it, although I knew we would be taking the risk of getting into trouble with school officials.  Between the fourth wing of our Junior High School and the football stadium was a large open practice field.  You could see this field plainly from the classrooms in the fourth wing of the school.  One day Jimmy told several boys to meet him out on this field during our lunch break.  It was here that his plan was unfolded with all the specific instructions needed to carry it out.
   
Our assignment was to form a circle around Jimmy and Paul.  This we soon did.  The next task for those of us on the outer circle was to “shadow box” and then to yell as loudly as we could—“Hit him!  Hit him!” This we also did.  Before long everything was being carried out just as planned.
   
This scene of yelling “hit him” and shadow boxing went on for several minutes before the desired results occurred.  It was then that a teacher came running out of the building toward our circle. If you had been a teacher, what would you have assumed you'd find in the middle of that circle of boys?  We can't be certain what they thought but I have a strong feeling they assumed two boys were engaged in a fist fight and that the crowd had gathered to watch and cheer for their friends.
   
As the teacher reached the edge of the crowd of boys we continued to yell, “Hit him.” What they found was Jimmy and Paul down on their hands and knees.  Was the battle over?  No, they were still in the middle of their contest. The teacher seemed to be upset, or maybe just embarrassed  yet they didn't say a word to any of us as they made their way back toward the school building.  You see, Jimmy and Paul were not fighting at all but were involved in a friendly little game.  It seemed only appropriate for all of us in the circle to yell “hit him” as we cheered on our favorite player in a friendly game of marbles. Strangely, we never did get in trouble over that prank.  I guess it was hard for the teachers to come up with a punishment for a couple of boys playing marbles and their friends who were cheering them on.
   
I've thought a lot about that experience over the years.  While I am not proud of the fact that I was involved in the prank, I did learn a valuable lesson from it.  You see, I realized that if Jimmy could totally deceive teachers who were college graduates while he was still in Jr. High, it would be feasible that slick marketers in our day could mislead us with deception. 

I think one of the most frightening things about deception is that when a person is being deceived he does not know its happening.  To be deceived is to believe something that is not true.  The fact that so few of us have any fear of being deceived seems in itself evidence of its danger. When was the last time we asked ourselves if we are being deceived in certain areas? We should all ask ourselves if the course we are pursuing is the right one.

Lessons

• There are people out there who will try to mislead you so be careful
• Look very closely at life because things are not always as they appear to be

Challenge
Examine your life and try to determine if you are being misled in any way that may be hurting you in some way.